Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
