I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
