Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
