Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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