I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
