...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
