It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
