He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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