why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
