Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
