Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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