I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
