so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
