i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
