have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
