My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dicks are not precious.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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