Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
