You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
