hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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