capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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