His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
