So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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