Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
