Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
everyone is single if you try hard enough
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
