At least make sure they are 18
Why
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
