Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
