I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
