You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
