This is not my ceiling
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
