the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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