She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
