going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
