Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
