woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
