if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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