No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
