Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
