so that wasnt chicken after all
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
