it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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