Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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