some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
