there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
