And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
