is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
