At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
