I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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