The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
