ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
