Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
