which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
