I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
